‘She spent over $300 JUST on decorations…': Well-off manager throws last-minute retirement party, requests staff reimburse her even though half weren't even able to attend

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jan 29, 2025 3:00 PM EST

If you are a manager or in any upper level position, listen up! PLEASE put your employees first. Like, it is the least you can do and, not to mention, part of your job. You are supposed to be the person who stands up for your team. Why are you constantly forgetting to consider them before you do anything? You make more money than them, you should make sure they are feeling happy and appreciated. You would not be where you are if they were not there. So like, grow some friggin' empathy, gosh dang it!

 

This story really had us BEGGING the question of: Do managers even have the capacity to have empathy for their employees?? This manager seemed like she didn't even considering thinking about how her actions would affect her employees. What happened here was your classic amateur party-planner faux pas. The manager at a hospital decided, last minute, to throw a retirement party for one of the doctors. She invited everyone last minute and got everything together with the volunteer help from some nurses just hours before. Half of the staff wasn't even able to attend, and the other half could only attend for a portion of it because they were still on the clock… 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10460741120
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

    You'd think if you threw a party on your own accord and last minute, that you would take on all the responsibilities on your own. It's only fair, even in a non-professional setting! However, this manager, who makes way more than the rest of the staff, took it upon herself to ask for reimbursement from her employees after the event… 

     

    I'm sorry, what? Who does that?? She did not discuss a budget with anybody prior to the event, spent way more than any of her employees would have approved to contribute to, and then still asks for reimbursement from people who she is supposed to be the one rooting for? Who make less than her! Ridiculous. Do better, managers.

  • "AITA for not wanting to reimburse my boss for a company party?"

    It's my first time posting on here, please be gentle Ok, so I have worked at a doctors' office for about three years. It is corporate run, and we have multiple doctors practicing here. My boss, I'll call her "Diane" recently threw a retirement party for one of the doctors that was retiring. Corporate was also involved, as they funded a really nice lunch for everyone for the party. We'd
    via Technical-You933
  • known for a while that this doctor was retiring, however, no one was aware of this party or any of the plans until the day before, so some of the staff missed the party. I happened to be working with this particular doctor that day, which is really the only reason I found out about the party. My boss spent the entire day decorating and picking up food etc prior to the party, which was fine. I came and helped decorate some during my break,
    via Technical-You933
  • too. It was complete chaos and kind of stressful, because we had to do it all at the last minute, which was kind of annoying. Usually when we have special events, we will either decorate/plan days in advance, or come on early to do so. But in this case, no one even knew it was happening until late the day before, and all we were told then was that we were having a luncheon for her retirement at some point the next day.
    via Technical-You933
  • Anyways, the party went nicely, our doctor was touched by it. Her family was also invited and so I know some outside planning had happened, but as I said, there was a good deal of her staff that was not even aware of it. I did my job and my bosses that day to cover for her while she basically hosted the party and stayed with everyone. I was able to come eat a bit and say hello to the drs family, but had to hurry back to work so that I wasn't stuck there super late. Everyone knew that
    via Technical-You933
  • my boss had put the party together, and we all complimented her on how nice the decorations were and thanked her for planning it, despite the nonexistent communication and last minute planning, she did pull it off well. Now here's where I have an issue... Two days after the party, my boss sent out a text to everyone in our department. She
    via Technical-You933
  • Cheezburger Image 10460743680
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • said that while corporate had paid for the food and cake, she'd paid for the decorations and a gift she got the doctor out of her own pocket. She asked if we could all send her some money to reimburse her for it. Half of these people she's asking for money from did not even attend the party. To me, this is something that should be done prior to a party or an event, so that people can actually be involved in the planning and/or attend the actual
    via Technical-You933
  • party. I feel like she wanted the praise and recognition for doing it all on her own, and now she wants her money back too. It's also frustrating to me, because a lot of us will have our hours cut until another doctor takes this doctor's place, but my boss is allowed to come in and sit on the clock even when we don't have patients to see. I also know that she is relatively well off, as she makes a point of making that known in various ways, so it's not that this party broke her. And
    via Technical-You933
  • finally, while I'm no party planner, I have a hard time understanding why she spent so much to begin with, without making sure ahead of time that everyone was on board to pitch in. She claims she spent over $300 JUST on decorations and a gift, all of which were clearly from her during the party. So Reddit, am I
    via Technical-You933
  • during the party. So Reddit, am I the a hle for not contributing to a company retirement party after the fact? She's already sent another text asking everyone for $30-40 a piece when some of us didn't reply to the first text message.
    via Technical-You933
  • FewStill3958 Most corporate ethics guidelines prohibit supervisors from asking subordinates for any kind of reimbursement. Thankfully, I've been out of the corporate world for a while but these kinds of policies seemed universal back when I was in it. You might wanna check your company's ethics guidelines about this.
    via FewStill3958
  • Cheezburger Image 10460743936
    via Unsplash+ (and National Cancer Institute)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • SweetandSassya... NTA. She didn't ask anyone prior to arranging this party. I'd ignore her request. It's not about how wealthy she is, it's the principle
    via SweetandSassyandSe*y
  • Portia Potty2 NTA Your boss is out of line and CHEAP!
    via PortiaPotty2
  • ChaoticCrashy NTA Do not send her any money. Come on. If it were planned and agreed upon in advance, that's a completely different story. I would completely ignore the request. Especially those who didn't attend the party.
    via ChaoticCrashy
  • She made the choice to spend, miss most of her workday, and bask in the glory of her party. It doesn't matter who gets paid what.
    via ChaoticCrashy
  • If she insists on a response, request more information about the company policy in this situation. She is likely getting reimbursed by the company, and since nobody 'opted in' to contribute- request to see what the company policy is. There is no company policy. So she's on her own.
    via ChaoticCrashy
  • Cheezburger Image 10460754688
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Special ModusOpe... NTA You ask for money before and work within a budget. Not appropriate to ask after. If you're game - ask her why she is asking everyone to contribute when she didn't invite anyone till the day or agree ask for donations before hand?
    via SpecialModusOperandi
  • Legitimate-Tea6613 Reply to the email (she was dumb enough to send this through company email?) and say sorry, I can't contribute to this. Don't ask anything, don't elaborate. Print a copy of her original email and your reply.
    via Legitimate-Tea6613
  • If she retaliates, you have everything you need. If she's just cold/petty, ignore it and move on. Absolutely do not pay anything and absolutely do not answer outside of email. If she corners you at some point, recap the conversation/confrontation in email.
    via Legitimate-Tea6613
  • Gummy_Granny_ NTA but is it worth the animosity not contributing will make. I would clearly state none of us were given the opportunity to decide or get a gift of our choosing. Yet we are now required to contribute. You have given us the impression that you could afford to cover it. Personally, with the cut in my hours, it will be a hardship.
    via Gummy_Granny_
  • Forward-Wear7913 NTA She made all the decisions and she needs to pay all the money. You don't have the right to go to people after the fact and make them responsible for paying for an event that she chose to host.
    via Forward-Wear7913

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